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Everyone but me – ten lessons from Hollywood

Thanks to television and Hollywood movies I have come to the conclusion that;

  1. Everyone but me can hotwire any vehicle
  2. Everyone but me drives a car that will keep going after smashing through steel gates and jumping over an open drawbridge
  3. Everyone but me leaves their spare keys above the sun visor
  4. Everyone but me can shoot the eyebrows from a fly at 100 metres
  5. Everyone but me can throw a knife with deadly accuracy
  6. Everyone but me can snap an opponent’s neck like a twig with a single twist
  7. Everyone but me can knock out any opponent with a single blow
  8. Everyone but me hack into the CIA’s computers using nothing except an electronic calculator
  9. Everyone but me can open any locked door using a credit card or a paperclip
  10. Everyone but me has a sculpted body, a sixpack and perfectly chiselled features

Posted in Funny, Mildly Interesting, Movies, Television.

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